Domestic Violence Serious Issue in S.C.
Lin Kovack
October is National Domestic Violence Month to be followed by November’s International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women proclaimed by the United Nations. Globally in 2023 more than 100,000 women and girls have been killed intentionally by intimate partners or a family member (https://www.unwomen.org) with unofficial statistics for 2024 and 2025 indicating an escalation in deaths. Each of these statistics tells a horror story, a story no perpetrator wants anyone to know.
Statistics are difficult to document. It is known the United States ranks second only to Africa in female deaths by domestic violence. Sadly, South Carolina averages 38,000 cases of intimate partner violence each year and ranks toward the top of 10 states of domestic violence in the nation. These numbers represent less than 25% of the actual incidents occurring but not reported to authorities for a variety of reasons. According to the Violence Policy Center’s October 2024 report, South Carolina has ranked in the top 10 states for domestic violence for 23 of the past 25 years (www.vpc.org/statistics). Sadly, more than 92% knew their offender as a current or former spouse or boyfriend, a relative, parent, parent’s partner, sibling, friend or acquaintance (https://www.sccadvasa.org/statistics).
In 2024, more than 75 of South Carolina’s domestic violence homicides included children and other family members. The primary cause of death was due to a gunshot, with 85% of females dying by bullet. National statistics indicate females are FIVE TIMES more likely to die from a handgun if weapons are available to the abuser, and suspected strangulation homicides are often under identified or verified.
October and November are months to honor victims we’ve lost, and all survivors silenced by society’s refusal to deal with a silent epidemic. It’s our perfect time to reflect on what we can do as a community to halt the devastating damage to our families and our communities which continues to rob victims of their dignity, self-esteem, and often their very lives. It’s a time to stop revictimizing the victim and set our sights on the abuser or perpetrator, and why this is happening in our community to our friends and loved ones.
We’ve been told for decades domestic violence is a mental health issue, but who is really to blame for the misinformation? Law enforcement, social workers, and even the judicial system have the mistaken belief the perpetrator has some type of mental condition causing the aggression. Sure, drugs and alcohol intensify behaviors and frequency, but violence is a control issue. Otherwise, the individual would be aggressive 100% of the time even during sleep. Most perps are charming before they deliver the trauma and chaos.
There is no “on off” switch the perpetrator uses to suddenly become aggressive toward another person. Instead, the perpetrator makes the decision as to the intended target, the time and location of the violence, and the intensity of the abuse. Research indicates premeditation while the intention to progressively cause greater harm intensifies over time. The victim often is powerless because it’s a small child, a disabled adult, an elder, a pet, or even a dating partner or spouse.
Domestic violence is so common some consider it a “right of passage to adulthood” that victims will eventually forget, but victims never forget the trauma or terror. In reality the perpetrator has a control issue that needs to be addressed before someone becomes a statistic. Every human is given the same protection under our U.S. Constitution’s Bill of Rights and abuse is a violation of our basic civil rights emphasized by the founders of our great nation.
When authorities respond, perpetrators are told to walk around the block a few times to cool off. Really? Think of Gabby Petito and Brian Laundrie. How many funerals and documentaries will it take for reality to set in? Which of our own family members will we lose before we take action?
The abuser has the need to control the scenario, the time, the place, and carefully chooses the victim. I don’t know of anyone who wakes up every morning saying to themselves, “Geez, it’s a great day to get beaten up, have a gun pointed at my head, or be thrown against the wall.” No one should ever go to sleep fearing they won’t survive till morning, walk on egg shells, sleep with one eye open, or open a door to find their children murdered as revenge against the partner.
The GFWC North Myrtle Beach Woman’s Club will host the 5th annual “What a Difference a Mile Makes” walk and event at the North Myrtle Beach Sports Complex on Saturday, October 18th. Across South Carolina hundreds of other events will honor domestic violence victims we’ve lost forever, those who suffer in silence, and those to dare to speak so the world will hear their voice of truth. While no one is prepared to hear these realities, the victims were never prepared to live the horrors and nightmares. Domestic violence can happen to anyone, including you or your loved ones. Make a difference and take a stand against this silent epidemic.
About the researcher: Lin Kovack is a survivor choosing to remain in the toxic situation thinking she was protecting her children. Destitute and homeless at age 60, Lin returned to college, was awarded her PhD summa cum laude, and completed her medical school fellowship at age 74. Dr. Kovack holds certifications from multiple state Supreme Courts and bar associations. She’s served on local, state and federal committees, and has authored textbooks and numerous academic journal articles. Her awakening memoir “Strip Maul. Truth be told” is written under her pen name, Eliza Grayson, soon to be released by Archway Simon & Schuster Publishers. ISBN: 978-1-6657-7995-5 (hardcover). If you have a story to tell, you can contact her at AuthorElizaGrayson@gmail.com.
